“When a woman who is living with her husband makes a vow or takes a pledge under oath and her husband hears about it but says nothing and doesn’t say she can’t do it, then all her vows and pledges are valid. But if her husband cancels them when he hears about them, then none of the vows and pledges that she made are binding. Her husband has canceled them and God will release her. Any vow and pledge that she makes that may be to her detriment can be either affirmed or annulled by her husband. But if her husband is silent and doesn’t speak up day after day, he confirms her vows and pledges—she has to make good on them. By saying nothing to her when he hears of them, he binds her to them. If, however, he cancels them sometime after he hears of them, he takes her guilt on himself.”
If a woman makes such a binding statement in the hearing of her father (if she’s not married) or husband (if she is married), and he keeps quiet, then the promise stands. But if her father or her husband (depending on her marital status) disapproves of what she said, then she’s not bound by whatever she promised, and the Eternal won’t hold it against her. If she gets married after making a vow or pledge (even a rash one) and her husband knows about it but says nothing, then she’s responsible for keeping those promises. But if her husband hears about some rash promise she made and says that he thinks it’s foolish, then he can erase any obligation she had to keep it. The Eternal will forgive her. A woman who’s not connected to any man—a widow or divorcée—must take full responsibility for keeping her promises.
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